


Everything On The Menu

by PoisonHw



Series: French Sarcasm meets British Wit [2]
Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Restaurant, F/M, Henry is a bit of an asshole for all intent and purposes, I just love these two so much, based off an aus tumblr post, just a big load of cheese, might become part of a collection, so cheesy it's an actual fondue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-03-03 13:41:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13342428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoisonHw/pseuds/PoisonHw
Summary: Getting rid of your annoying ex-boyfriend is tough. Sometimes, you have to go to extremes.





	Everything On The Menu

**Author's Note:**

> I was looking at [these](http://onetruepairingideas.tumblr.com/post/137058944267/food-service-aus) and saw this AU and I just had to write it, you know?
> 
> And since I'm proud of having introduced this ship to AO3, I gotta keep it alive. This might even become a collection, with prompts and all, heh! I just love this pairing. They're my babies.
> 
> This is not betaed and I literally wrote it in like half an hour, so please bear with my mistakes.
> 
> Characters belong to Ubisoft. Kinda.

Twenty minutes. She had twenty minutes to set everything up. She could do this. She had enough charm to convince the guy. Right? She probably did. She wasn’t sure. She would do anything to convince him. Anything.

The restaurant was a nice little establishment with its own parking lot, just as small. Evie thanked all the Gods for how empty it was; then again, the middle of the afternoon on a work day wasn’t the most crowded of times.

She stopped the car too quickly and heard it make a weird noise, but she didn’t care. She got out as fast as possible and opened the door to the building, knowing full well she probably looked like a madwoman right now.

That thought was accentuated by the fact that the guy at the counter looked at her funny.

He was a professional, though, and put himself back together.

She didn’t let him salute her or even ask her anything. She had more urgent preoccupations.

“Are you the owner?”

The man’s eyebrows shot up half a second before becoming a deep frown, and his voice was carrying a suspicious tone.

“...Yes, I am.”

Dear God. He had an accent.

She sighed, far too happy. Just the one person she was looking for. She looked at him for a few seconds, scanning him. He was about as tall as she was, with brown eyes matching his long hair, tied in a little ponytail behind his neck. He was wearing dark jeans and a white shirt. He was cute. He would do perfectly.

She let out a breath and almost fell on one of the stools. He put what he was holding in front of him and looked at her with what looked like compassion.

“Why are you asking?”

She gulped. Now for the embarrassing part. She took a deep breath. “Okay, this is gonna sound weird and I don’t know how to explain but my ex is coming very soon and I need you to cover for me and say you’re my fiancé,” she explained in one single breath. “I’ll buy everything on the menu, just, _please_ help me.”

He straightened up, not taking his eyes off her, and she could swear he was studying her like a damn book.

“What’s his name?”

Eyes full of hope, she was ready to answer any question he might have. He seemed like he was considering it, and damn if she wasn’t going to convince him.

“Henry.”

“How long ago did you break up?”

“9 months.”

He nodded, eyes looking in front of him where the door stood.

“Am I allowed to punch him and/or throw him out if he becomes too much?”

“Ab-so-lu-tely.”

He nodded again, smiling, and looked back at her.

“How long do we have, what’s your name and can I get you something to drink? You look like you just ran a marathon.”

Evie couldn’t believe it. “I’d say about ten minutes? My name is Evie and do you have tea?”

He nodded once more, getting her a cup, and kept the discussion going.

“You’ve never come here and yet out of all the places in the city, you decided you wanted me as your fake fiancé?”

She was beginning to really like the accent.

“I actually picked something random, and you seemed like a good option,” she said. “Thank you for, you know, helping me. I can’t get him off my back.”

She thanked him when he put the warm cup of tea in front of her.

“I don’t expect you to buy the whole menu when he’s gone, but I will want something in return,” he said with a smirk. “Name’s Arno, by the way. Did you think of a backstory, or…?”

She hadn’t.

Oh dear, she hadn’t.

Her look of complete and utter fright was enough of an answer for him.

“Don’t worry,” he said, putting his hand on her shoulder and squeezing a little. “I’m good at improvising. Just drink your tea, try not to panic and let me do the talking. He did come to see me, didn’t he?”

She gave him a weak nod. How had she been so lucky? Barging in an empty restaurant and immediately getting the (actually really hot) owner to fake being her fiancé so she could finally get rid of Henry.

Evie still had one question, though. “I’m sorry, just, I can’t place your accent.”

Arno chuckled. “French.”

“Oh. Wow. Right. Nice. I didn’t think French people were a thing in this country.”

“Says the woman with a British accent living in the US.”

She opened her mouth to counter, but didn’t find anything to answer. He had a point. Damn him. She sipped her tea (which was, unexpectedly, good), heart drumming in her chest in anticipation. Any minute now, her current walking nightmare would enter the room.

She wasn’t ready.

“That him?”

Evie turned on her stool, watching the blue car enter the lot and park calmly next to her own vehicle. Getting back to her drink, she closed her eyes and drew a shaky breath.

She felt a presence suddenly really close, and found herself staring at kind brown eyes. Arno was just next to her albeit still standing on his side of the counter, and weirdly enough, she felt protected. This man whose name she didn’t know a few minutes prior was there for her.

He’d help her through it.

It was strange.

The door opened and they broke eye contact, her staring at her tea once more while Arno head whipped up. She could hear his easy smile when he said Good Afternoon, and she braced herself for the inevitable greeting.

A hand appeared on her shoulder, and she felt it drift down her back. She was ready to move so Henry couldn’t continue, but she was beaten. By her cover.

Arno was looking at her ex with his eyebrows raised, and his tone was relaxed but hard enough that the message was clear.

“Hands off, dude,” he stated, staring at Henry.

She saw, mesmerized, her ex-boyfriend back up with hands raised and sit on the stool next to hers.

“Just wanted to say hello.”

“You can do that without touching her. The best option is generally using your voice,” the French man said with a smile.

Arno’s sarcasm was the best thing she’d heard all day, hell, maybe even all week. He just went for it. She couldn’t have asked for better. Henry seemed out of his element, and she saw he was starting to regret coming here.

Instead of focusing on the boys, she looked at the ring she’d bought herself not long ago. It could definitely pass as an engagement ring, and she suddenly remembered that her cover didn’t have one.

Shit.

With a bit of luck, he’d find a reason for that.

She didn’t listen much, sipping her tea while Henry asked questions. Too many questions. He’d taken a coffee while she was thinking, and she could now hear clearly what they were saying.

He was asking about her pretend-fiancé. His name, what he did, how he came to have the restaurant. Arno was answering, patient as ever, but Evie could _see_ his patience becoming thinner with time.

Henry asking how they met was apparently the last straw. She almost jumped when the glass Arno was cleaning ended up put down on the counter with a loud noise. He, on the other hand, seemed to have had enough of this. Oh no. He was going to blow everything, wasn’t he? She was so screwed.

“Okay,” she heard him say, and saw him stare her ex in the eye. “What exactly is the meaning of this?”

Henry looked genuinely surprised. “I don’t understand.”

“You don’t? Let me explain it to you, then,” Arno said, voice now higher. “I learn about half an hour ago that you’ve been harassing my fiancée, who broke up with you months ago- and then you have the nerve of coming here, in _my establishment_ , asking questions about our relationship. I’ve been patient, I’ve been nice, but that’s enough.”

Henry, now, looked a bit scared. “I didn’t-”

Arno cut him before he could even finish his sentence. “Get out,” he growled. “Move on, and get out. I better not see you again here, or anywhere else for that matter. If you touch her again, be sure that I’ll find you.”

She watched, silent, as her ex-boyfriend practically ran out of the restaurant.

That was it.

It was done.

The car took off, and she suddenly realized her mouth was hanging open. Evie cleared her throat and turned back to face her cover, who was looking at her with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

“How’d I do?”

She blinked multiple times, not sure what to say or where to look.

“That was amazing. I don’t even know how to thank you. I’ve never seen him like that. Thank you, thank you so much.”

She was so relieved she could feel tears of joy coming up (as stupid as it sounded), and she could swear she felt one roll on her cheek already.

Arno rounded the counter and sat next to her, an elbow propped on it, trying to find her eyes.

“It was my pleasure. I actually enjoyed it. He seemed like an ass.”

She scoffed. “Understatement of the century.”

“Hey, it’s in the past now, you can forget all about him,” he said in a cheery voice. “In the meantime, may I ask for my reward?”

She looked up, mortified. “I don’t think I can actually buy everything on the menu, that was more of a desper-”

“Don’t worry,” he cut her. “I was actually going to ask if you’d like to go on an actual date with me.”

She stood there, looking at him, wheels turning at light speed in her head. She knew what answer she wanted to give, but somehow couldn’t get herself to say it out loud.

He started getting up, telling her it was alright if she didn’t, but she grabbed his arm. No way she was letting this handsome savior get away.

“I’d love to.”

Arno smiled, and Evie returned it.

“Good.”


End file.
